The better version of yourself is waiting for you. Ready to go for it?
All of us has some bad habits. They don’t bring joy into our lives, they don’t provide us with anything good but rather they prevent us to reach better versions of ourselves. We don’t gain anything by doing them except wasting our energy. Now, the important question that arises here is:
Are we aware of them? Or better, are we aware of what we are doing to ourselves?
With this article, my aim is to increase our awareness about the bad habits that we tend to ignore and give some tips on how to fight them.
1. Taking everything personally
We can encounter this in many different forms. For example when people;
- do not treat us well
- disrespect us
- don’t like our opinions
- don’t agree with us
Take some time and think about these situations. Did you take it personally?
Some of us perceive all of these situations in a very personal way without questioning it at all. Taking things personally can be emotionally destructive, unnecessary and a waste of your energy. It causes control loss over your emotions and it also affects how you respond to these situations.
On the other hand, not taking things personally will give you control over your reactions, emotions and it will help you respond in a better way and make your relationship better with others. So, what should you do?
Tip: Before jumping to conclusions, question everything and ask for clarification. Or even you can choose to let things go.
2. Stuck to the past
“If you are depressed you are living in the past.” — Lao Tzu
Most of us made many mistakes in the past. Some of these mistakes changed our lives, while some of them changed our perspective on how we see life.
We are human beings. We make mistakes and it is totally OK. This is what makes us human. All of us would wish to go back to the past, and never make the same mistakes again.
But this is the wrong way.
Instead of sticking to the past, we should learn from our previous mistakes and make a better place for our future happenings. Whenever you feel sticking to the past, ask these questions to yourself:
Can I change my past? Do I have a control over my past?
These questions will help you overcome that feeling. You may not have control over your past but you have control over your future. So learn from the past and create a better future for yourself.
Tip: Be present. Learn from your past and don’t let it destroy your happiness at this moment.
3. Excessive stress
“If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”— Lao Tzu
Where do you live? In the present or in the future?
Answer these question honestly and see where is the source of your stress. Be prepared what tomorrow will bring you and tell yourself that everything will be just FINE. Don’t worry about what will happen in the future, be in present and focus on what you have now.
Tip: Live in the present moment and tell yourself that everything will workout.
Overthinking is rooted in uncertainty. “Because we feel vulnerable about the future, we keep trying to solve problems in our head.” — David Carbonell
According to scientists, anxiety and fear are the main causes of overthinking. Instead of overthinking on how to solve imaginary problems that don’t exist anywhere except in our minds, we should step back and look at the situation from a different perspective. So, what is the key here?
We should always be aware of our thoughts. Sometimes our own thoughts are our biggest enemies.
Tip: Don’t think of what can go wrong, but what can go right.
5. Not saying no
There is one important fact that we usually forget when we say “Yes” to something.
When you say yes to something, you are also saying no to the things you already need to complete. When you say yes to something new, you’re not thinking about the impact it will have on your existing to do’s.
Finding more time for things isn’t the problem here. Too much shit to do is the problem actually.
The only way to get more done is to have less to do.
Saying no is the only way to claw back time. It’s not time management, it’s obligation elimination.
One of the greatest visionaries Steve Jobs had an excellent and short answer on the importance of saying “no”. I highly recommend you to watch the video below.
Tip: Watch Steve Jobs video below and focus on what matters, and not just what’s in front of you.
6. Trying to please everyone
“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself” — Sonya Parker
Let me ask you a direct question: Do you love yourself?
If your answer is yes then pay attention to my advice to you. Stop trying to please everyone. When you try to please everyone it becomes a problem. Eventually, it becomes more than a problem. It turns to a disease. Harriet B. Braiker called it “the disease to please.”
Why are you trying to please everyone?
Because you seek approval, you want everyone to like you. To love you. Pleasing everyone seems like a perfect strategy to accomplish this. In these kinds of life situations when you found an elusive answer, you fail to speak up, fail to say what’s on your mind, fail to allow yourself to be the real you.
Tip: Learn to be real you and never become the one who never says no.
7. Blaming but not solving
“If you get your ego in your way, you will only look to other people and circumstances to blame.” — Jocko Willink
Blaming is easy, too easy in fact and that is why some of us use it as an opportunity to get out of the situation we are in. The real truth is that it’s extremely unproductive, useless and pointless in solving problems.
Blaming others is a huge time waster as well. Trying to prove someone is WRONG or RIGHT doesn’t have any impact on solving the problem and that’s why blame rarely enhances our understanding of our situation and often hampers effective problem-solving.
When something goes wrong, instead of asking “Whose fault is it?”, try to focus on accountability. A focus on accountability recognizes that everyone may make mistakes. Accountability, therefore, creates a healthy environment for ongoing, constructive conversations.
Tip: Don’t blame others, be solution oriented and focus on accountability.
8. Not getting up early
“One key to success is to have lunch at the time of day most of people have breakfast.” — Robert Brault
I am not going to give you advice about why you should go to bed early and get up early. You can find hundreds of articles about it. As a person who is an early riser, all I can tell you is that it really really works.
I was one those who spend too much time on sleep. Then I realized what I was doing and I decided to change this bad habit. Now I go to bed early and get up early. It makes me more productive, healthy and I can find more time for my closest ones and my job. I also feel more energetic whole day than previous.
Tip: Rise early and get more things done.
“Overeating is the addiction of choice of carers, and that’s why it’s come to be regarded as the lowest-ranking of all the addictions. It’s a way of fucking yourself up while still remaining fully functional, because you have to. Fat people aren’t indulging in the “luxury” of their addiction making them useless, chaotic, or a burden. Instead, they are slowly self-destructing in a way that doesn’t inconvenience anyone.” ― Caitlin Moran
Tip: Know your weaknesses. Upgrade your mindset and improve your health.
“How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself.” ―Marcus Aurelius
Less or more everyone gossips. Somehow it makes us feel better about ourselves to know something about someone else and share that with another person.
But there is a certain fact about gossiping. It almost always does damage to a relationship that we can never completely undo. So to keep our relationships healthy avoid gossiping and engage in meaningful conversations about people around you.
When you realize that your conversation begins to turn toward gossiping, take the high road and end it. That’s the only way to prevent yourself from damaging relationships with unnecessary complexity that gossip brings.
Tip: Keep in mind that there are always better things to talk about than other people.